1 : Car sales girl says to call girl: "I have to sell a car today or I am fucked.”
Call girl reply: ”I have to be fucked today or I have to sell my car!"

2 : The sperm wanted to be human very anxiously. One day an opportunity arrive so they rush out very quickly.
Suddenly the leader shouted: STOP! My God we are finished. The boss is only masturbating!

3 : Man to wife: Business is bad, if u learn 2 cook we can remove servant.
Wife: If u learn how to fuck we can remove driver, gardener & watchman...

4 : Girl goes 2 repair umbrella.
Umbrella man says:- Upper cloth has to be removed and rod has to b inserted.
Girl says:- Do any thing but water shouldn’t go in !!!

5 : Teacher: John, why is your cat at school today?
John : I heard the postman tell mum.. when the kid goes to school I’m gonna eat your pussy.

6 : What is the difference between riding a bicycle & riding a woman?
Riding a bicycle u fix ur ass & move ur legs.
Riding a woman u fix ur legs & move ur ass!

7 : What is the difference between riding a bicycle & riding a woman?
Riding a bicycle u fix ur ass & move ur legs.
Riding a woman u fix ur legs & move ur ass!

8 : Girl in cinema turns sideway n whisper 2 her boyfriend: The man next 2 me is masturbating!”.
BF: ”Ignore him.”
GF: ”I can’t.
BF: ”Why not?”
GF: ”He’s using my HAND!”

9 : Dear Sweetheart:
I can’t send my salary this month, so I am sending 100 kisses.
You are my sweetheart
Your husband
Allen

His wife replied back after some days to her husband:
Dearest sweetheart,
Thanks for your 100 kisses, I am sending the expenses details.
1. The Milk man agreed on 2 kisses for one month’s milk.
2. The electricity man only agreed after 7 kisses.
3. Your house owner is coming every day and taking two or three kisses Instead of the rent.
4. Supermarket owner did not accept kisses only, so I have given him Some other items.....
5. Other expenses 40 kisses.

Please don’t worry for me, I have a remaining balance of 35 kisses and I hope I can complete the month using this balance.
Shall I plan same way for next months, Please Advise!!!
Your Sweet Heart .

10 : Rina: What is the difference between boys & girls?
Seema-
Boys are naughty, we are beauty.
They've chest, we've breast.
They’ve night falls, we’ve 2 big balls.
They’ve a big pole, we’ve a deep hole.
They can fuck, we can suck.
They are brilliant, we are pregnant.
and at last we are “LOVERS” They are “FUCKERS”.